


if you lift your eyes

by cosmic_llin



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Conversations, F/F, Friendship, Gen, Post-Canon, Pre-Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-05 04:41:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11570532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmic_llin/pseuds/cosmic_llin
Summary: Ezri and Kes discover some things they have in common.(AU where Kes never left Voyager.)





	if you lift your eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flashyxtemplar](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=flashyxtemplar).



Ezri hasn’t been assigned to counsel Kes, but Kes has this way of making friends with everybody, so even though Ezri’s barely had time to see the outside of her office since she arrived, she already knows enough not be be surprised when Kes greets her with a friendly smile and comes to sit beside her at the bar.

‘Mind if I join you?’ she asks.

Ezri shakes her head. ‘Not at all.’

‘Long day?’

Ezri smiles. ‘I’ve had longer.’

The truth is that she’s loving this assignment. The last few years she’s dealt with nothing but wartime trauma and grief, and when Counselor Troi asked for her for this short-term mission, she jumped at the chance. It isn’t that the Voyager crew haven’t had their fair share of awful experiences, and it’s not like they don’t need some serious help, but it makes such a change.

The whole crew is staying on this base for now, working through the initial wave of debriefings, health checks and paperwork, and the mood of the place is buoyant. Earlier today she watched one of her clients reunite with her family. Tough to work through emotionally - seven years apart will leave cracks and tears in places you didn’t expect - but ultimately rewarding. Ezri almost cried herself.

‘How about you?’ she asks Kes. ‘How are you enjoying Federation life?’

Kes considers for a moment. ‘It’s very… I don’t know, is there a word for something that’s exactly how you thought and nothing like you expected, at the same time? I spent so long living on Voyager that I’ve gotten used to the Starfleet way of doing things, and I’ve spent more time around humans than I ever did around my own people, but the more time I spend here, the more I realise that Voyager was something unique. We were like a family on that ship, and now all of them are going back to their own families, and I’m… not.’

She leaves the rest unspoken - even if she could go back, all of her Ocampa family and friends have probably died from natural causes already. Ezri’s seen her file. Kes is almost eight years old - an advanced age for an Ocampa - and it’s only because of extensive medical intervention that she’s still in what for a human would be early middle age. Ezri assumes that Kes is already discussing all of this with Deanna, so she doesn’t pursue it.

‘What will you do, now you’re here?’ she asks instead, to lighten the mood.

Kes smiles. ‘The same thing I’ve always done - learn, explore, try new things. I can finally go to some of the places I’ve been reading about for years - I’d love to visit Vulcan. Maybe get another degree. I want to do everything, take every opportunity that presents itself.’

‘If you ever visit Trill,’ says Ezri, ‘you should visit the Tenaran Ice Cliffs. They’re some of the most spectacular…’

She pauses, thrown for a moment. Has she ever been there? She sorts through the memories of her few childhood trips to the homeworld. No. Jadzia went, and a few of the others, but never Ezri.

‘I’ve never been,’ she says. ‘But some of my previous hosts did. Jadzia thought it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. I’d love to go back someday.’

‘That’s right,’ says Kes. ‘Deanna told me you’d had nine lifetimes. Is it hard to keep all the memories straight?’

‘Not as hard as it was,’ Ezri says. ‘It took me a while, and a lot of therapy, but these days I have a pretty good handle on it.’

‘I can’t imagine living nine lifetimes, or more,’ says Kes. ‘Before I left Ocampa, I thought nine  _ years  _ was enough. It’s funny to know that I’m probably entering the later part of my life, when compared to most of the people around me I’m still practically a child.’

‘In a funny way, I know how you feel,’ said Ezri. ‘As Dax I’ve lived for centuries - symbionts are long-lived, but the Dax part of me won’t be around forever, and I don’t know how many more hosts there will be after me. But as Ezri, my life’s just beginning. I hadn’t even finished my training when I was joined.’

‘Do you feel it?’ asked Kes. ‘That sense of responsibility, the need to experience things, make enough memories that maybe someday it will seem like enough?’

Ezri chokes out a laugh. ‘I mostly try to ignore it,’ she says. ‘The other Dax hosts all did incredible things. It’s a lot to live up to.’

‘I think you’re doing just fine,’ says Kes.

She reaches over and pats Ezri’s hand, and something flickers between them.

‘If you want to see the ice cliffs,’ says Ezri, ‘I could take you.’

‘I would love to,’ says Kes.


End file.
